


Locked

by ilookgoodinflaredjeans



Category: Saturday Night Live
Genre: Comedy, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, I am very sorry, Locked In, M/M, Romantic Comedy, just comedians being fools!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:08:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21731980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilookgoodinflaredjeans/pseuds/ilookgoodinflaredjeans
Summary: John Mulaney and Bill Hader locked in a break room.
Relationships: John Mulaney/Bill Hader
Comments: 12
Kudos: 49





	Locked

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure: I am not a writer and english is my second language. Any constructive criticism is most welcome and this is the first fic that i ever published about these two, so this shit stayed at my laptop for like a week cause i'm too embarrassed to post this, but here it is anyways!. again, i am sorry.

* * *

"Wait." Bill rattled the doorknob, "Shit's not opening"

John huffed, two steaming coffee in his hands, "What do you mean?"

"I think were locked, fuck" he rattled the loose metal.

"Just call out from the outside" John said

Bill scratched his head "fuck. Hey! hello, anybody there? we're locked." he tried a few times banging on the door, when Bill was replied with silence they looked to one another and shared a smile, "Dude, shit's locked."

John gestured, "I'll just place this on the table," he sighed as he puts down the two steaming coffee carefully. he shrugged, " guess we'll just wait for someone to come around."

Bill looked pained, and an idea, "Do you have your phone?"

"Yeah, its dead though why?"

"aw, shit. i thought we'll call someone from the outside."

"Have you got yours?

Bill patted his pockets, and sighed, "must've left it by the desk."

John pulled out a white plastic chair out from the table and sat down, they shared a look. John brought his mug up near his lips, "Well, this sucks."

* * *

Half filled mugs lie untouched and Bill's laughter filled the room. Apparently, being locked with John Mulaney is the most fun he had at work. he weirdly thought, if the other thought so too. 

John continued his story, and Bill listened. 

They have gone back and forth with the silliest banter to surprisingly, mundane ones. 

"Can't believe no one's looking for us, yet." John said

Bill sighed, "yeah, shit." a long silence followed after that with them sipping their mugs, Bill looked at John who instinctively smiled at him. he blurted out, "remember, 7 minutes in heaven?"

John choked on his coffee, he laughed and cleared his throat, " Yes. I remember." he said with contained laughter.

Bill grinned, "Well, y'know it's just like this."

John furrowed his brow with a grin and humored Bill, "Like, how exactly this is like 7 minutes in heaven, Bill?" 

Bill huffed, "Cause' we're locked in a small room, and well, except-- except there's nothing going on, you know" Bill raised his eyebrow while John laughed. 

after a moment, John finally stopped giggling and he cleared his throat. " Well, I never played it, so i wouldn't know." 

Bill gave a short laugh, " I don't believe that for a second."

John grinned, "Why, thank you but, yeah, i was never picked for those, have you?" 

"Well, no of course not"

John burst out in laughter and Bill giggled alongside him.

"I just know that shit, from movies."

Bill figured he _really_ likes making John laugh.

* * *

Two empty mugs left untouched and with their two plastic chairs facing one another, John don't even remember how their staring contest began and now he's noticed how blue Bill's eye's were and how the shade of Bill's lips was a, deep red.

_huh._

Bill groaned, "Fuck, i dont really wanna give you 50 bucks, man."

he grinned, "Then don't fucking lose." 

Bill keep saying silly comments to crack John, but both men took the staring contest all to seriously.

John had an idea, he cleared his throat, "Hey Bill,"

"What."

"You look so fucking hot." John was pleased when he saw Bill's eyes go wide for a second and then a fit of giggles came. With a mischievous grin he says, "I'm serious."

Bill felt his cheeks grew hot and ache from smilling, "I-i could say the same about you."

"Didn't think you felt that way about me."

"Well, have you seen yourself?"

"Wanna fuck me?" John challenged Bill with a raised eyebrow, he saw Bill nervously swallowed and seemingly flushed, he might've gone too far.

"Maybe." Bill grinned.

There was a pause, John can feel his heartbeat quicken, he let out a breath,

John jumped a little, when Bill puts his two hands in John's knees and said in a silly voice, "What's the matter, John gonna give me my 50 bucks ?"

John felt brought back to earth, he completely forgotten about that stupid bet. 

he huffed out a laugh and exaggeratedly said, "Not a fucking chance!"

* * *

John did end up giving Bill 50 bucks, he sneezed and it was inevitable. Now they are just irritated grown men. 

"Bill what time is it?" 

"3pm End shift is near and we're still stuck here."

John Snorted, "God, i guess were just waiting for the janitor to get down here."

"Yep" Bill looked at John, 'I guess, thank god i'm stuck here with you."

John shot a weird look

"I was gonna go here with the new guy."

"Oh, make sense, the dude's kind of weird John sighed, I was gonna go alone, now that's worse."

"Oh god"

"Yeah, i know imagine me a few hours waiting here, i would've lose my mind"

"No, Look."

John looked at where Bill is looking at, a neatly rolled phone charger was near the power plug.

They looked at each other and shared an incredulous smile. 

Bill sighed, "Fuck, i didn't even saw that." 

* * *

They charged John's phone and waited for it to restart. They sat back on their own plastic seat. 

a few silent moments passed by and Bill felt a set of eyes on him, he looked at John and sure enough, John was looking at him. he grinned, "What?"

"Nothing." John looked away

John didn't know why but he cautiously looked at Bill again, and felt like he was going to melt when Bill's still looking at him. 

Bill rolled his eyes, "Just fucking kiss me." 

"What."

And Bill suddenly placed his lips on his. It was quick and chaste. Bill looked at him for a reaction, John was speechless. 

Bill was still close to John, Bill said softly, "This okay?" 

he shook his head, and huffed "Y-yeah, of course."

They both tentatively leaned in this time, the kiss went sweeter and deeper. Bill almost jumped when he felt John's soft tongue move against his, he puts his hand on his cheek. John almost felt lightheaded by his touch, he puts his hand on his thigh.

Bill was lost in John's deep kisses when he felt John grip him tightly. 

_fuck._

they heard the opening of the door and they broke off.

A girl intern was standing looking embarrassed, "Oh i'm sorry--

John beside him, suddenly blurted out, "No, wait it's fine we're locked."

she hurriedly got out the room and exclaimed, "i'm so sorry!", and they were left alone in the room again.

John slowly looked at the man beside him, Bill looked up at him with an apologetic smile.

* * *

They finally got out of the room, thanks to Fred.

They laughed about it for a while and went back to their own respective places.

He nodded at John and they were civil once again, he sighed. He felt John looking at him but was too embarrassed to look back or maybe he was just imagining things.

Bill planned to quickly get ready to head out for the night and lastly he'd go to the restroom.

he took a piss and washed his hands, he heard the door close. he looked up and saw John standing there looking at him.

John looked around and whispered, "is anyone here?"

"No." Bill grinned

"Oh, okay i'm gonna lock it."

"Wow, sexy" Bill snorted.

John rolled his eyes, "I just wanna talk about-- " Bill quickly invaded his personal space. John breathed deeply and looked at his lips and Bill's saw this and tentatively leaned in. "w-wait." John puts a hand between them.

Confused, Bill stopped.

John sighed, "I don't really know about this, 

"Oh"

"No, not like that, it's just that i'm not comfortable with _this_." John gestured.

Bill dawned in realization, he stepped back and John looked worried, "Hey, uh, man it's cool--"

John seemed irritated, "No, I wan't to take you out.'

Bill's eyes widen and John looks like he was on a verge of a nervous breakdown, which he probably was.

After a few seconds Bill let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and smiled at him.

"Oh, that's fine too."

**Author's Note:**

> As promised by my blog, daddybarry.tumblr.com .


End file.
